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plurality, personal (1/3) 

This is not neg, but I dunno where else to talk abt it...
Didn't talk about plurality in some time, and that was for a good reason
We had all fused for months, and it was okay really

I mean november till january included were really awesome
Then it became… Really hard

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rant 

Also, what people don't realize is how much of a sponge I am

And when you send violence my way, **I** am the one who has to spend a ton of spoons deconstruct it because if I don't do that I'll reproduce it

I already am burned out..

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neg 

Je suis une petite merde hypersensible totalement inadaptée à cette société horrible qui me tue petit morceau par petit morceau tous les jours de ma vie depuis que j’ai eu l’outrecuidance de venir au monde

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I am unable to hate people nor be angry at them

Sometimes I manifest pain in a bad violent fashion which I try to deconstruct bc it’s not healthy

But I have no way to defend myself against toxic situations
The only person I’ve ever be able to hate was myself

je crois que je vais pas très bien..

ah et j'ai oublié le meilleur. ça pue exactement la même odeur qu'un dégagement de lavabo bouché quand tu fout de la soude dedans pour le déboucher :) c top !

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bon la crème dépilatoire c'est de la merde. ca coute cher pour ce que ça fait, ça rase pas mieux qu'un rasoir de sûreté (et ça ça me dégoute) tout en étant beaucoup plus dangereux (c'est basiquement de la **soude** avec de la crème hydratante) et c'est plus long à utiliser qu'un rasoir pck faut y aller petit bout par petit bout et attendre 10mn, puis enlever et rincer et recommencer.

%%% 

🔥 🔥 Everything is fine 🔥 🔥

re: %%% 

Sérieux, ma vie on dirait un mauvais film catastrophe.
C'est qui le réal, que je le trouve et que je lui pète les genoux là ? 😤

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%%% 

cette année en résumé c'est mauvaise nouvelle sur catastrophe sur urgence

j'en ai plein le cul, j'ai pas DU TOUT eu le temps de souffler depuis février, est-ce que le monde pourrait me lâcher la grappe une semaine ?

re: %%% 

why do I always have bad and anxiety-inducing news and urgent unstable situations all the fucking damn time

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re: neg 

when you go about your day and a few months after the facts the trauma really hits you like a freight train

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neg 

been awake for two hours and already crying

re: neg 

my life is a mess and I'm beyond tired, I can't deal with it anymore…

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neg 

not in a good place mentally tonight. so many shitty things still to manage

re: neg 

I just… I can't. I don't have the strength, I don't have the energy, I fucking need to rest, gimme a break, a stable place to exist with ppl and not my mere existence menaced like everyday by twenty different reasons

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re: neg 

Like, why there's so many things going bad at the same time, all the time gosh

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neg 

Realizing my life is still going sideways and so many things are wrong

very neg 

Common signs I've exceeded my mental health limits:

- no energy
- no joy
- sudden sadness
- death wishes

hum, yeah, am still bad at not giving too much aren't i

neg 

Mood down, fatigue…
Épuisée de tout

neg, disillusion 

So yeah, sharing gay, or jumping off a bridge, not much of a difference anymore to me to be honest
And it'll stay like that
Bc I'm burned out, bc I'm broken, bc I'm tired, bc this shit won't change anytime soon and no I can't do anything more, I've far far exceeded my allowable limits

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